Showing posts with label Cartoonish Super-Villany. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cartoonish Super-Villany. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Weekly Prompt Story: X

http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/?p=26687


On Problem Solving
By Chris Munroe

Good morning, class. Today’s assignment; Solve for X.

Because X demands solutions, and X won’t be trifled with when it comes to getting what he wants.

And, as you know, X, or “The Mysterious Dr. X” as he prefers to be called, does have your loved ones hostage, meaning that you will not want to fail him.

You will not want to fail him.

Oh no.

The Mysterious Dr. X is not a man to be trifled with, as those who have come upon him will be only too quick to tell you.

He will not be failed.

So: Solve.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Weekly Prompt Story: Making Other Plans

As those of you who follow me on twitter (@munsimunsi) already know, Laurence Simon did a charity episode of the 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge this week to raise money for the Relay For Life. Money was donated based on the number of stories sent in, and due to the efforts of his loyal listeners, roughly $800 was raised all told, if I understand correctly. So good for him, good for everyone involved, and a hearty round of congratulations all around. Also, due to the charity nature of this weeks challenge, a whole HELL of a lot of stories! So if you want to listen to drabbles until you can no longer think straight (which you likely should want) this week's a unique opportunity to do so!

Here's some links to the episode, which had to be broken down into multiple parts due to the sheer volume of response the call for stories got:

http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com/2012/07/15/weekly-challenge-325-life-rfl-challenge/
http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com/2012/07/15/weekly-challenge-325-life-rfl-challenge-part-2/
http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com/2012/07/15/weekly-challenge-325-life-rfl-challenge-part-3/
http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com/2012/07/15/weekly-challenge-325-life-rfl-challenge-part-4/
http://podcasting.isfullofcrap.com/2012/07/15/weekly-challenge-325-life-rfl-challenge-part-5/

...again, congratulations to everyone involved. And, for those of you who like, here's the story I submitted.


Making Other Plans
By Chris Munroe

It’s been said that life’s what happens when you’re making other plans.

And that’s why I make a lot of plans.

Some general plans, moving in with the woman I love, reworking my schedule to include more time to write, those sorts of thing.

Others are grander plans, building superweapons, using them to subjugate mankind, world domination.

I’ll tell you, the second thing’s better.

With that in mind I’d like to offer an addendum to the expression.

Life’s what happens when you’re making other plans.

Living is what happens when you’re blackmailing the United Nations using an orbital weapons platform.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Saving the World

Dr. Harrison had, somehow, acquired an orbital weapons platform, and he was using it to blackmail the United Nations security council. If his demands weren’t met, he’d destroy one city every day until the collected global governments bent to his will.

Nobody doubted he’d do it, the man was a lunatic with a God complex. He’d demonstrated that fact on more than one occasion.

I couldn’t let it stand, something had to be done to protect the innocent from a fate worse than death. And it had to be done quickly, lest the worst happen.

Using my security clearance and some good old-fashioned detective work, I quickly located his secret headquarters. Then, I gathered the identity and location of every field agent operating in the vicinity, compiled the Intel into one master file, and contacted Dr. Harrison.

My price was steep, but he agreed that the information I was offering to provide was more than worth the expense.

Later, on the yacht I’d purchased to sail around the Caribbean, I read in a local paper that, after the destruction of Paris, San Diego and Beijing, the U.N. had finally paid Harrison his blood money.

` It was sad that so many had to perish, but I knew in my heart that their sacrifice would not be in vain. Because I had saved the world.

I’d saved it from the parasitism of learned dependence. From the unreasonable expectation of suave secret agents and governments that swoop in to “rescue” them every time an ambitious, productive member of the supervillain community attempted to use his intellect and resourcefulness in an enlightened, self-interested way. From the idea that anyone would help them, that anyone could help them.

From the idea that they deserved help.

Yes, millions had died, and millions more would suffer enormously. Men, women and children who’d done nothing to deserve their fate had been snuffed out in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t help but feel empathy for them. But empathy is weakness, and as quickly as it raised it’s demon head I pushed it back down and did my best to ignore it.

Because in the wake of this horrific tragedy the survivors would learn, would be forced to learn, to fend for themselves, and to discover free-market solutions to madmen with superweapons blackmailing the United Nations. And perhaps some of the parasite class would even be roused from their stupor and pull themselves up by their now-radioactive bootstraps, becoming productive citizens truly worthy of the lives they’d been given.

And if even a few of them did, then truly my work would be meaningful. Because with each new genuinely productive, individualistic person in the world working solely for his or her own personal gain, mankind as a whole would become that much better prepared to advance.

And if I, by allowing Dr. Harrison to destroy a few cities and blackmail a few governments, contributed to that, then truly my work was worthwhile.

And though the world might curse me now, as the parasites will always curse the productive, I suspect that someday they will understand the higher moral imperative I laboured under. And when that day finally comes, the world will sing praises to my name.

The name of agent 001.

Rand, James Rand.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Dreams

Some dreams aren’t meant to come true.

I dream of power, and it’s exercise unburdened by conventional morality. I dream of bending the world to my will, of having it’s “leaders” bow before me as their rightful master. Of uniting humankind, if only to serve at my pleasure.

Cody Jamison has simpler dreams. Dreams of growing old with his wife, of watching his newborn son graduate, of weddings, grandkids and life’s simple pleasures.

Dreams of a world in which giant robots don’t rampage through the streets of major cities.

But, as I said, some dreams aren’t meant to come true.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Plan

1) Procure kittens.

2) Perfect cutsie-pie handwriting.

3) Genetically and, where results would go unnoticed, cybernetically enhance kittens. Razor claws, improved strength, speed and agility, fangs that rip through steel. That sort of thing.

4) Using shock collars and cuddles, teach kittens to equate affection with physical pain, such that any kindness drives them into murderous frenzy.

5) Craft adorable sign reading: “Free Kittens”

6) Stand by highway with cardboard box.

The angle? No angle, I have absolutely nothing to gain by this plan. Sometimes you have to do what you do for the simple joy you derive from it…

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Power

I’ve replaced the light bulbs in my home.

The new bulbs burn just as brightly as the old ones, provide just as much light, but require much less power to run.

I’ve also weatherized all my doors and windows, and replaced my water heater with a far more energy-efficient one.

The work was difficult, yes. Difficult and initially expensive. But it’s all been worthwhile, with the energy I’ll save via my new, modern, more efficient home.

Because these savings have given me tremendous power. Power greater than normal men could dream of.

Power I shall use… TO RULE THE WORLD!!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Domination Deferred

Voltra’ag stared blankly at the shambles his life had become.

His kingdoms had been flooded by months of rain and, adding insult to injury, the fortress he’d thought impenetrable, and his unstoppable superweapon within, were rubble before him. Behind his iron mask, he wept.

He’d lost everything, because he had not learned three simple lessons.

1) Supervillains fail because unlike heroes, who can unite in the name of justice, their goals diverge.

2) Speak of your schemes to no-one unless you’re absolutely certain they’ll join you.

3) A man with a weather-control satellite is no man to be trifled with.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Napalming the Glass Ceiling

After the fourth round of drinks, conversation turned to gender politics.

“It’s sexism, plain and simple,” she commented, “institutionalized sexism. As an evil genius who happens to be a woman, I have to work twice as hard as a man to make people fear me!”

I denied it, of course. I mean, I’d grown up post-feminism, and treated the women in my life with nothing but respect…

…now, weeks later, staring out at the flaming ruins of the city, her words remain with me. I mean, of course I fear her, but can I honestly say I fear her enough?

Friday, August 6, 2010

Puppy in a Shark Tank

She tossed the puppy into the shark tank.

My stomach turned. I have villainous moments, I’d never deny that , but this was crossing a line. Killing puppies, for what seemed like no reason at all, was just wrong, and I couldn’t abide.

Vertigo came over me, I nearly threw up. But when I opened my mouth to protest she pointed back behind me.

The shark was dead at the bottom of the tank, and the puppy yapping in pleasure.

“I’ve bio-enhanced my puppy into the perfect killing machine!”

I made love to her then, next to the shark tank.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My Satellite (part 3)

The project’d been difficult to complete, but Dr. Colossus knew it’d been worth the effort. With his satellite operational, the world had no choice but to bow before his genius.

His technicians counted down, and the rocket fired to life, an array of superlazers and mind control rays thrown into low earth orbit. He laughed maniacally, and brought the systems online.

At which point my own satellite noted it’s power signature, relayed an auto response to my headquarters, and shot it down.

A few days later Dr. Colossus received a very brief note.

It read: I don’t share. Nothing personal.




For more information on the Lazer-Satellite I sent into orbit please consult the following Drabbles

The Weather (My Satellite part 1)
http://munsistories.blogspot.com/2010/06/weather.html

My Satellite (part 2)
http://munsistories.blogspot.com/2010/06/satellite.html

Friday, June 11, 2010

All Will Bow Before Me

My newest superweapon is complete. At the flip of a switch, from safe within my bunker, I can unleash upon the world the greatest man-made disaster anyone’s ever seen.

I’ve hacked the pentagon and UN mainframes, and when the time’s right I’ll take control of their systems, to make my demands known.

The world will finally tremble before me. They’ll have no choice but to submit to my will.

It’s been two months since my weapon was complete, but I’ve yet to make the call.

I’m waiting for the Gulf to be cleaned up.

I don’t like to share focus.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Iceland

“Prime Minister Siguroardottir, the economic forecasts have been completed and I’m afraid that the news isn’t good.”

Johanna stood, her back to her trusted aide, staring blankly out the window at the cliffsides near her offices. She was drained, used up, and it seemed like the news, since the economic collapse, was always bad, and always getting worse.

Why? Why hadn’t her predecessor stopped their national banks taking part in mortgage-backed derivative trading? It’d never been anything more than a shell game, that much had been obvious for at least five years, to anyone who’d bothered to examine it closely. And when the market collapsed it’d left her beautiful nation on the brink of bankruptcy, and each day it seemed more likely it’d tip over that brink.

“What, Matthias?” She asked quietly, trying to keep her voice from, “For god’s sake what? What more could possibly be wrong?”

“Due to the IMFs demand that we raise our interest rates, growth has stagnated to the point of almost nothing. Unless we lower the rates, our economy will never recover properly.”

Johanna sighed deeply. “But if we lower them, we’ll lose our IMF aid, and we’ll be right back where we were in 2008. The currency flight will cause untold chaos.”

The aid nodded sorrowfully.

Johanna continued gazing out her window. She felt like she’d aged a decade in the very short time she’d been in office. She’d spent a lifetime doing her best to serve the people of her beloved homeland, only to find herself the head of state at the worst possible time, placed at the helm of the ship moments before it sailed off the abyss.

She’d done all she could to be strong, for such a long time. But she was exhausted, and feared she had nothing left to give. Something inside her snapped that day, and her sadness was replaced by righteous anger. If her country were to vanish into economic oblivion, then before it did she’d stab back at the world from hell’s very heart.

“Matthias?”

“Yes, Prime Minister Siguroardottir?”

“I believe that the time has come for us to do the unthinkable. Prepare the staff to travel to Eyjafjallajokull.”

“Madam Prime Minister, surely you can’t be thinking…”

“Yes, all options have been taken from us, all except lashing out blindly. I didn’t want to be the leader who used our great nations failsafe system, but the time truly has come. To Eyjafjallajokull, Matthias. We have a volcano to set off.”