Sunday, April 27, 2014

Weekly Prompt Story: Run

You Can’t Run From Your Problems
By Christopher Munroe

Run as hard as you want, you’ll never escape your problems.

Unless we’re talking health problems, in which case chardio would do you good, and I heartily recommend you do take up running. You’ll lose weight, feel better, and have more energy going into your day.

But other than that, your problems can’t be escaped, and there’s no use running away.

Unless your problem is an angry dude with a knife, or a pack of hungry wolves, in which case, run.

In retrospect, “you can’t run from your problems” is pretty terrible advice, now that I think about it.


Friday, April 25, 2014

The Day it All Went Down

They took city hall, guns blazing, trapping the Mayor, councilmen and assorted reporters inside. And worse, rumor was they’d snuck in an atomic device.

Their demands were insane, nonsensical, impossible, but SWAT teams had no way in without endangering the hostages.

The only chance to save the city was one man, working alone, under the radar, with nothing left to lose…

…and here I was, one day away from retirement.

Fortunately, I’d taken vacation time in the lead-up to retirement and didn’t have to deal with any part of it.

I watched the whole thing on CNN.

It was exciting!

Monday, April 21, 2014

Weekly Prompt Story: Cool

Crisis in Education
By Christopher Munroe

He was too cool for school.

But too legit to quit.

And this, in a nutshell, was the crux of his dilemma.

Would he stay, and lose the cool he’d worked so hard to cultivate, or quit, and in quitting be delegitimized in front of his peers? Quitters never win, but would caring about such victory damage his unflappable personae?

Somebody had to let him know.

Should he stay, or should he go?

In the end, he made no choice at all, and was expelled in a hail of scandal and bitter recrimination.

No longer cool, nor legit.

Merely unwanted.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

On Romance

I wouldn’t consider myself a hopeless romantic.

I could, considering my history. There’s a trail of women behind me, some who still care for me but know I’m not right for them, others who legitimately want me dead, some with good reason, and each in turn has taken pieces as they left, pieces I’ve struggled to either find again or re-grow.

But I do.

I pull myself together best I can, brush myself off, and move forward, to reclaim my optimism.

I have to. That’s who I am.

Like I said, not a hopeless romantic.

Rather, I’m very, very hopeful.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Weekly Prompt Story: Hash

Not Every Stat Holiday is a Good Idea
By Christopher Munroe

A lot of people called in fake sick to work that day.

Like, a LOT.

A number of businesses didn’t open at all, and those that did, mostly places that sold snack foods, were swamped by the rush of people suddenly realizing that HOLY SHIT SOME CHIPS WOULD BE GOOD RIGHT NOW!!!

The customers didn’t always remember to bring money.

The staff didn’t always remember to take it.

Billions of dollars in economic activity were lost over the course of twenty-four hours.

“Hash Wednesday” was, overall, not the most productive of holidays, but it was certainly a lot of fun…

Thursday, April 10, 2014

...every child must play.

I have no kids, as my actions have demonstrated time and time again.

I do, however, make a very good cool uncle.

A little irresponsibility, after all, is important to the development of a well-rounded, fully-formed person, and parents overprotect children, so it’s the job of every cool uncle to break kids out of their parentally imposed comfort zones.

In short: I do not apologize for buying your four year old a Chucky doll and leaving it in his room while he slept.

When the nightmares finally end, the love of classic horror films it imparts will last a lifetime…

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Weekly Prompt Story: Prompt Overload!!!

Ten prompts combined this week! In 100 words! Enjoy!

Changing of the Guard
By Christopher Munroe

The newly elected MPs, some in odd socks, others in fishnets, still others in more morally conservative socks, made their way into the Capital, heads held high.

And why not?

They’d been elected to enact their version of the future, and that’s exactly what they intended to do, bringing with them a smorgasbord of values, principals and ideals.

Opportunity for all, an end to the abuses of the past, a nation where all could prosper.

And friendship, which is magic.

It was My Little Party’s first time forming a government, but they were determined that it wouldn’t be their last…

Thursday, April 3, 2014

The Perils of Mistranslation

We’d misread the prophecy, you see.

We thought he’d devour the planet, consuming all in his path and leaving nothing in his wake.

And, as he approached, panic swept the nations of earth.

But we were mistaken. Such a small error, one letter, but with such massive implications.

We should have been relieved at this, but all we could do was stare at one another in mute horror.

We were safe, but at greater cost than we would ever be able to properly express.

We’d never express anything, not ever again.

Because Gargaxia, the Eater of Words, had finally arrived…

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Belated Weekly Prompt Story: Who do you miss?

I Miss Him Still
By Christopher Munroe

I miss the man I used to be.

The energy, the enthusiasm of youth. The belief that I could do anything, these are things I do genuinely miss.

Don’t get me wrong,  I’d never go back to being him in a million years. He was just the worst. If I met myself at seventeen it’d be five minutes before I wanted to punch him in the face. He was too full of himself, too in love with the sound of his own voice to be even remotely tolerable.

I still am, but the material I do now has improved somewhat...