Sunday, December 27, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: New Years' Resolutions

My New Year’s Resolution
By Christopher Munroe

In the new year, I’m going to like me.

I’ll look upon myself, upon my works, and strive to honestly like what I see, to take pride in those aspects of myself that I deserve pride in, to see those aspects clearly, rather than depending on the validation of others.

I’ll self-validate, because I’ll know my own approval is the only approval I’ve ever needed. And, in doing so, I’ll finally allow myself to be happy.

Obviously, this won’t happen. My self-loathing is far too internalized by this point.

Still, I will try.

Or at least: I’ll try to try…

Thursday, December 24, 2015


Admittedly, a Degrassi reunion would not be possible without Drake, and Drake will be difficult to get at this stage in his career.

However, for the purpose of my pitch we have him, and as such, let’s make him the star, yes?


Now, I’m not kidding myself that we have access to an international hip-hop superstar for any sort of long-term project, so we will have to make this a one off, two hour TV movie rather than any sort of ongoing program. Which is fine, that’s about how long television reunions ought to be anyway, so that’s something we can work with.

Original cast, then, for two hours, once.

Christmas special?

Christmas special.

So Jimmy Brooks, after one personal tragedy or another, is finally pushed past the point that he can bear, and decides to take his own life, only to be interrupted at the last moment by an angel that takes him by the hand and wheels him through a version of Degrassi that would have been had he not been there. Through this narrative device he learns how his presence has changed his classmates, his friends, the lives he’s touched and the impact he’s had upon the lives of others. This leads him to an epiphany that life, all life, is valuable, even if you may in the moment think that it is not.

I’m aware that this is derivative, but I don’t think that it matters. TV reunions aren’t about depth or breadth, they aren’t about new ideas being presented, and they never have been.

They’re the television equivalent of comfort food, and I think that a celebrity we know and like playing the character that we first met him playing, weeping as he realizes that yes, life is out there and worth living, would be very comforting indeed. I think the program could be a huge success…

Even if it is just blatantly thieving from It’s a Wonderful Life.

It would be a heartwarming moment, and heartwarming moments are what Christmas specials are all about. We’d laugh, we’d cry, it would become a part of us, and in the end we’d smile along as church-bells chimed in the background and some plucky orphan quoted Drake the signature line of the piece, as though we’d known from the start that it was coming. Because it was the natural end, the only possible end, that the story could have…

I know when that hotline bling, and angel gets its wings.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Drop

Drop It
By Christopher Munroe

“Drop it like it’s Hot” is an amazing early 2000s club jam, quite possibly Snoop Dogg’s finest moment.

It is, however, horrible advice if you work at a resaurant. The food is always going to be hot and in spite of that it does need to be carried to the table safely.

Dropping things simply because they are hot means re-cooks, angry guests and wasted food. Frankly, in spite of how amazing we all agree Snoop D-o-double-g is, we cannot afford to be following his example.

It wouldn’t be economically viable.

In summery: Snoop Dogg is awesome, and you’re fired.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

My Thoughts on Star Wars (Part 2)

To those of you flipping out about Star Wars: The Force Unleashed spoilers:

A young person, living on a desert planet, who wants a simple life is contacted by a droid who brings with it the call to adventure. She follows that droid, who leads her to an older character, who in turn tells her of the force.

Then, the young person, older character, droid and probably some kind of rogue/fugitive that they meet along the way go on a galaxy spanning mission, trying to stop a black armored sith lord and highly ranked imperial officer from, and I’d actually happily bet you a beer on this, building a Death Star.

X-Wings and Tie Fighters, or their modern equivalent, dogfight and, in the end, using the force, the young person will carry the day and the Death Star will be destroyed, ensuring the safety of the galaxy.

But for how long?

These films aren’t complicated, is what I’m saying. Enjoy them for what they are, but try not to worry about spoilers, because you’ve known what was going to happen, beat by beat, in this movie before J.J. Abrams even finished shooting.

Search your heart: You know this to be true.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Box

On Subscription Boxes
By Christopher Munroe

I want a subscription box that, every month, sends me a box from another, different subscription box service.

The box will arrive, and I won’t know until I open it what I’m receiving. One month could be beef jerky, the next X-Men merchandise, there’d be no way of predicting.

The contents, after all, aren’t why I enjoy subscription boxes. It’s the surprise, the anticipation as I tear open my monthly treat.

And, without any clue what’s in the box, it’d be all the more surprising.

That said, knowing my luck, my first box would wind up containing Gwynith Paltrow’s head…

Friday, December 11, 2015

My Thoughts on Star Wars

As some of you may already know, a new Star Wars movie will be opening shortly.

It’s a popular science-fiction/fantasy franchise from the late 70s/early 80s, but that’s not important right now.

What’s important is the degree to which the film has, by all accounts, respected the aesthetic of its predecessors, to the degree that it’s even gone out of its way to reunite much of the original cast. The news that this had happened pleased fans of the original series of films greatly.

You see, a prequel trilogy was released in the early 2000s that a portion of the fan-base believed did not do the franchise justice, and the appearance of the original cast in this new film has been taken as a sign that… you know what? Not important, you don’t need to know this much back story for my point to be made. Plus, really, if you’re not familiar with the basics of Star Wars you’ll probably have stopped reading by this point.

Also; If you’re not familiar with the basics of Star Wars how have you managed that? It’s pretty basic cultural information, isn’t it?

My point is simply this: The original cast of the film, thirty-five years older than they were during the series’ heyday, will be appearing, to greater or lesser degrees, alongside the younger cast who will be carrying the franchise forward. Presumably some portion of this new, younger cast, will be the biological offspring of the characters of the original films.

Potentially Luke Skywalker, the principal hero of the original Star Wars Trilogy, will have a child amongst the new cast. Which would mean that that child would have a mother, because that is how biology works. THIS would mean that, presumably, there was at some point a romance between Mr. Skywalker and some heretofore-unknown female character, who he would have to have, at some point between the end of Return of the Jedi and the events of The Force Awakens, met, loved and had a child with.

He would not have to have loved her, from a biological perspective, that is not a requirement to father a child. However, from a narrative perspective it would be better if he had.

Who would this character be? What happened between them? And, perhaps most importantly, how did they meet?

I don’t know how this piece of back-story will be handled, until the film is actually released none of us do, but I DO have a preference, and it is this:

I want for Luke Skywalker to have been introduced to the mother of his child by Wedge Antilles, who flew by Luke’s side at the Battle of Yavin and later over Endor, and who later founded Rogue Squadron with him. I feel that it is, knowing what we know of the character, only right and proper that he be the one to have fixed Luke up with the mother of any children he might have.

After all, as we all recall from the original films: Wedge is, above all else, an excellent wingman…

Thursday, December 3, 2015

...on paintball.

New idea for a business: Let’s open a paintball range.

Now; I know paintball ranges already exist, paintball ranges built within warehouses, paintball ranges out in the woods, paintball ranges for every occasion, in every style, for every theme, and with this in mind you might think that opening a paintball range would not qualify as a “New” idea.

I assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. This is a very new idea, because MY paintball range will offer a service no other range will offer.

What service is that? Why, it’s so simple that when I tell you you’ll be shocked that nobody’s thought to do this already…

You see, my paintball range will offer, in addition to many the enjoyable afternoon of paintball that we’ve all come to expect from such a place, a special, private session for two, in which you and a friend, or indeed a rival, can participate in a very special form of conflict resolution.

The room will be smaller than the regular course, of course, and a gun and one paintball will be provided each complainant. The grievance will be heard and one last opportunity given for either party to back down, to abandon his or her claim, to admit the other right that conflict might yet be averted.

And then, assuming neither party chooses to do so, ten paces, turn and fire.

There’s an old-schooliness to settling disputes with pistols at dawn whose appeal is undeniable, even if in this modern age murdering somebody just to win an argument is frowned upon, and I feel like paintball would be a good, legal, nonlethal way to bring back some of the magic of a bygone era. You each take your shot, if one hits the other the argument’s settled, if not honor is at minimum defended and you go your separate ways, agreeing never to speak on the matter over which you fought ever again. It wouldn’t be the sort of solution everyone would be drawn to, or the sort you’d apply to every problem, but I think enough people would take us up on the offered service that it would be a proven success for us.

At minimum it would be a great opportunity to slap the shit out of somebody with a glove.

So that’s my idea for a business, and I think you’ll agree it’s a good one. We’ll be providing a service no other paintball course provides, and it will be a service people genuinely want, though they may not know that they want it right now.

Business, as they say, will boom.

My excellent reasoning has convinced you of the worthiness of my plan, yes? You will approve my loan?

You won’t?

Sir, I’m deeply offended by the implications your refusal has regarding my ability to run a small business, and I assure you, this insult will not stand!

I shall meet you in front of this bank at dawn, and we shall settle this like men!

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Pin

On Cosplay
By Christopher Munroe

I love Hellraiser, but I’ll never cosplay Pinhead.

A fact that at times does hurt my heart.

I’d like to, either for Horror-Con, Halloween, or just out at my local gothic nightclub, but I won’t. The costume’s too elaborate, even if I COULD afford it I’m not good enough at makeup and prosthetics to get the look right.

And a character that iconic you do have to get right.

So no, sad though it makes me, I’ll never cosplay Pinhead. It’s not the end of the world…

After all, I’m pretty sure I could pull off Chucky like a boss.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

...on Robotics

I am of the last generation that won’t have to decide whether or not it wants to transfer its consciousness into a machine.

That option will never be available to me, much though having an immortal robotic housing for my newly immortal mind might appeal. I was simply born into the wrong age for it. I was born in a fragile human body and, in spite of my thoughts on the matter, in a fragile human body will I die, mere decades or perhaps even mere years before the technology is developed that might allow me to extend my lifespan, via robotics, on through the centuries.

But do not pity me, for it is not I who needs your sympathy…

The generation that follows mine, after all, WILL have the opportunity to combine the flexibility, energy and creativity of the human mind with the sort of powerful, mechanical body that might last through epochs, and with that opportunity will come perhaps the most difficult decision with which any living human in any era of humanity’s development has ever been faced.

Because if you can transfer your mind, your soul, all that is you, into a machine, and you decide that you are going to do so, then when?

When, exactly, has your mind developed enough, within the confines of its mortal shell, that it is ready to be transferred to a less mortal one, that it might never fear mortality again?

Is not this fear useful? Is not some part of human emotional development tied to our shared notions of mortality? To the idea that your physical self might some day fail, that your life might be torn from under you? At what point can you honestly claim that you have learned sufficiently the lessons that a fragile, mortal human form has to teach?

And, if you make the wrong decision with regard to this so-important matter of timing, what consequences might it bring?

Those consequences, like the consequences of any such world-shaking leap of technology, are quite literally unimaginable. The mind, mortal or machine, boggles.

I will, and I am grateful for this, never have to make such decisions. The generation that follows me certainly will, and all that I can do is hope that, when they do, they make it well, for the sake of humanity’s continued survival. I do not envy them the responsibility…

Plus, there’s hardware to think of. There’s no guarantee that, once inside a machine, the mind will be transferrable out of it and to a new one, and nobody, and I do mean nobody, wants the iPhone One of robot bodies.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Wind

Wind, or Wind
By Christopher Munroe

The wind whips your hair back and forth as you wind your way through the woods, wind whistling through wood as you wander, wondering where you will wind up.

Your watch has wound down, you would have wound it were you aware you’d wind up wandering these woods, but without warning it’s no wonder you wander without...

Your mind wanders, and you wish you were willing to welcome the wonders without, without wondering what those wonders wrought whereupon they wandered upon you, gentle wanderer.

And that’s when you realize: You’ve completely lost track of what you were trying to say…

Friday, November 20, 2015


It was, all told, a fairly run of the mill prophecy.

A Dark Force would rise, all would be swept before it and it would rule o’er the land until such time as a hero pure of heart might rise against it, to cast down what once had seemed unstoppable and return his people to their rightful place in the sun.

Hackneyed, to be frank. Overdone. The sort of thing you’d heard a thousand times before…

Still, they WERE my people, and hackneyed or not I was determined to protect them, no matter what hell I had to put myself through, what sacrifices or compromises I might have to make. They were my people, I had a duty to keep them safe, and whatever dark force might in time rise I’d keep them safe whatever price had to be paid.

If I didn’t, after all, what sort of hero would I be?

What sort of leader would I be?

Fighting the Dark Force, I decided, would be an easier matter were I to seek it out before it had time to take root and establish its base of power, and to this end I sent a network of spies to all four corners of the kingdom, to find whatever hole it might be hiding in and drag it out into the light.

Yes, there were tales of spies abusing their power over the locals, but I paid them no heed. They were doing important work, after all, and I couldn’t let the misdeeds of a few taint that work, however grave those alleged misdeeds might have been.

Some protested, because some will always protest, and I admit it did hurt my heart to order my generals to put the protests down. They were good people, after all, most of them were good people, they were probably good. But in a time of crisis a people must stand together, strong and resolute, and if the dissent of the few threaten to weaken the whole it has to end, however well meaning it might be.

There were those among my advisors who disagreed with the heaviness of my hand in dealing with the protests, and of course I encouraged those around me to voice their opinions on the matter.

It made it easier, after all, to know who was against me for when the long knives came…

By the second round of protests my precautions were really beginning to come to fruition. My spies told me well in advance they were being organized, and my forces, now freed from any in their leadership who might take moral issue with the crushing of dissent, cracked down with brutal efficiency. The streets ran red, and by the time the bodies had been carted away it was clear that, if a third wave of protests were ever to begin, they would begin far away from the capital.

I heard the rumors when they did, of a farm boy in the provinces giving speeches, rallying locals in support of the values our kingdom once held dear, as though every step I had taken had not been to protect those same values, but every time I sent an assassin, or a platoon of soldiers to put him down once and for all, all it did was drive more people to his cause.

I couldn’t believe, as the reports came in, how many eventually grew to support his cause. Did my people not understand that all I had done, I had done to protect them?

And now he and his rag-tag bunch is outside the walls of this very capital city, and more of my soldiers are abandoning their posts to join him every day.

Before long they will breach these walls, I understand this now, and they will find me in my castle and drag me out into the street. I could run, but I will not. When the end comes for me I will face it, not out of any sense of courage, but rather with the profound moral exhaustion of a man who has done everything he could to protect those he loves, only to see his best intentions come to less than nothing.

I have nothing left to fight for, now, and my heart is too heavy to try.

It’s never easy realizing that, at the end of the day, all you’ve made of yourself is the Evil King in someone else’s story…

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Deck

Home Improvement
By Christopher Munroe

We were so excited when the project began.

I mean, none of us were carpenters, we’d never built a veranda before, but we were reasonably intelligent individuals, and youtube does exist after all, how hard could it be?

Unbelievably hard, as I’m sure will come as no surprise to the handier among you.

The resultant porch looked terrible but, more tragically, friendships ended over the fights attempting to build it caused among us. We went our separate ways, dispirited by failure, and never spoke again.

A tragic end to a tragic tale…

…especially as we’d started with such great deck-spectations.

Friday, November 13, 2015

The Breakup

“I’m sorry,” I told her, “I’ve done my best to make this work, but it’s just not, I don’t think it ever will, and I think that on some level you know that I’m right. We’ve been telling each other that we’re in love, we’ve been telling ourselves we’re in love, but I think we both know we’ve both been kidding ourselves, and that I never loved you, and that you never loved me either. And moreover, I’m realizing that I never will. It’s not you, but it’s not me either, I think, you’re just… you’re not the droid I’m looking for.

And she just looked downward, at her feet, seeming sad. She was not sad, because she was not a living breathing person with an internal emotional life in the same way that I was, but she looked sad, because she had been programmed to look sad in the event that I broke up with her. Still, in spite of my knowledge that she was merely going through the motions, seeing her doing her best within the limits of her programming to express and then swallow sadness crushed me. We had had our share of good times, after all, simulated or not…

But, after a long, fake breath and a moment to appear to pull herself back together, she was able to look me in the eye once more.

“I understand,” she said, although she did not, “it is for the best. If you are not happy we should not be together.”

And then she closed her eyes, sank down into the chair in which she’d been sitting, and powered down once and for all.

And now I’m back on the market. Though after two years of living with a machine I’ll admit, I’m rusty when it comes to the dating scene. So, how about you? what brought you to OkCupid?

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Order

By Christohper Munroe

I believe there is a fundamental order to the universe..

By which I mean that everything in the universe has a certain, specific order.

Linear time, I mean, I believe in linear time.

Yes, I’m aware that there are theories to account for the notion that time does NOT occur in a linear fashion, but while I find them fascinating to consider each in their turn, I couldn’t speak to the likelihood of any of their truth.

I don’t have the background necessary.

But I don’t begrudge said theories’ existence.

After all, in an orderly universe, everything has its place…

Thursday, November 5, 2015

On Manicures...

Three blocks from the building where I currently live, there is a salon.

I’ve never been there myself, but I’ve seen the sign out front as I’ve walked past the place on my way home from work, night after night.

“MAN-icures” the sign reads, and it’s surrounded by little pictures of power tools that, presumably, the MAN-icurists will use upon your fingernails should you make an appointment to have them do so.

All of which begs the question: Surely, by this point, gendering things has gone too far?

Can we just come together as a culture and agree that, if a man requires reassurance that you offer a specifically masculine spa day, you are not going to convince him to get a manicure. This man is not a get for your place of business, and the sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be.

I’m not saying this is a good thing, or a bad thing, merely that it is. Facts have no moral weight, after all.

You own a salon, you want money from the fifty percent of the population that does not traditionally go to a salon, that’s fine. That’s normal. If men took spa days that would potentially double your profits and that would, as the owner of a business, be a desirable outcome indeed. I’m just saying that promising specifically masculine manicures is not going to bring anyone to you, and may well drive people away with it’s very outlandishness.

I do not own this salon, admittedly, perhaps it is very successful, I just can’t personally imagine the strategy working.

An advertizing campaign that said, “Hey, remember that one time your girlfriend took a spa day? Remember how relaxed she was afterward? You should totally do that!” for example, I would imagine bringing men to a salon. Men like to relax, and they like to be pampered, they just need to have the fact that it’s an option pointed out sometimes.

I have to have the fact that self-care is an option pointed out a lot of the time, I know how that is. All the ad would really have to do is remind me.

Perhaps simply a picture of Aziz Ansari, and the slogan “Treat Yourself!” That would DEFINITELY get men out for a spa day!

And then get you sued by Aziz Ansari.

So: Not that specifically. But something along those lines…

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Crush

My Creed
By Christopher Munroe

What is best in life?

To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Now, it’s 2015, we want to be inclusive, so let me add: Crushing female/non-binary enemies and hearing male/non-binary lamentations is also best in life, in whatever combination is appropriate to your experience, both of your gender and that of whomever you count amongst your enemies.

It’s not “What’s best in life, given a particular limited demographic?” after all.

And if anyone claims otherwise, crush them, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of…

…well, of whomever.

Friday, October 30, 2015

In my defence...

…the breakup had been a bad one, and tempers were still hot as I packed my things. She’d hurt me more than I thought possible, and moreover I felt more betrayed than I’d ever been. So I allowed my own baser nature to overcome my better angels. I was too angry, and I acted rashly. I know that’s not an excuse, but I hope that, in some small way, it provides an explanation.

Specifically, I left a bucket of shrimp in the basement, by the radiator, without telling her, before I moved out.

Obviously I wasn’t there weeks later when she found it, but I can only imagine her disgust as she came unexpectedly upon it. The stench alone must have been overpowering, and her revulsion as she was forced to carry that bucket of rancid shellfish upstairs and out to the corner for disposal is something that, in spite of my shame at having been so petty to someone I’d once loved, I still have to admit I’d have like to have seen.

So yes, I did once Revenge Prawn an ex-girlfriend. I’m not proud of the fact that I did it, but I did it, and there it is.

What? Well what DID you ask, then? What’s that? What, NO! No, I’ve never done THAT to an Ex. That’s revolting, absolutely fucking inexcusable. Who would do that?

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: I Remember When...

Remember Remember
By Christopher Munroe

Remember when that one Guy tried to blow up parliament with a cartload of gunpowder?

Oh come on, you remember. Guy pulls up, gunpowder in tow, he’s intercepted, nothing explodes but he’s ALL OVER the news, people screaming for his execution? It was a whole huge thing, #GunpowderTreason was trending on Twitter and everything, EVERYONE was sharing stories .


Are you sure?


Oh, nothing, I was just wondering how that whole thing turned out. After the initial outrage I kind of lost interest.

I guess these sorts of stories get covered differently in the age of social media…

Friday, October 23, 2015

The Relationship

Have you ever gotten out of a bad relationship?

The sort of dynamic where you know the other person is wrong for you, where they’re small and petty and pointlessly mean, constantly, where they’re not a good person and you can no longer bring yourself to even pretend that they are, but you’ve stayed with them anyway, out of fear that you can’t do any better, fear that, after so many years, this is all you deserve?

Have you ever been pushed to the point where even your own worst, most morally cowardly self can no longer make excuses for a person, and you see them, perhaps because of something they’ve said, perhaps something they’ve done, for who they truly are, and you can take no more of their abuse, their lies, of the petty, snarky contempt they show you with their every utterance, and you, finally, push them away once and for all?

Have you ever found yourself, away from a person for the first time in longer than you care to remember, so emotionally exhausted from the dynamic you’ve escaped, so utterly drained, that you can’t bring yourself to think about your future, to find something more healthy for yourself, a true partnership in which you might grow and thrive, because after everything you’ve been put through you no longer trust your own judgment in the matter, and anyway you just need something simple, something comfortable, something unchallenging.

…have you ever gotten out of something profoundly unhealthy, and you just want to be with someone sweet, and a little bit shallow, who you know will never ask much from you, while you figure your shit out?

That, in a nutshell, was what Election 2015 was like for Canada, so far as I can tell...

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Stick

A Public Service Announcement
By Christopher Munroe

Teddy Roosevelt once famously said, “Speak softly, and carry a big stick.”

Good advice for its day, perhaps, but I think we all agree it needs to be updated.

“Walk on two big sticks.”

In this modern age, height’s never been a more important factor in determining success. With this in mind, can you deny yourself the opportunity to be your best, tallest self?

Jump on a pair of stilts today, as Roosevelt would have, had he the technology to do so.

This message has been brought to you by the Canadian Stiltwalkers Federation. For more information, consult our website…

Friday, October 16, 2015

A Weekend Negotiation

...all right, fragile human flesh-body, I know I was out until six in the morning gaming last night, and that's on me, that's nobody's fault but mine, but you have to get me through a day of work now, and THEN a nightclub.

I know it's not fair of me to ask you, you're aging, hell we both are, and neither one of us can do what we did at 19 anymore, but that's just how it has to be. Work, then a nightclub, and Then you can sleep. Just push through as best you can, don't break down on me, and if you come through for me on this I swear that on Sunday I'll let you sleep as late as you want!

We're a team after all, we're in this together, now pull it together, do the best you can, and get me through this. I believe in you, I believe you can do this, and you WILL do this for me!

One more day. Another day, another destiny. Let's do this.

And, once again, I'm deeply, deeply sorry that I'm putting you through this schedule.

We cool?

Monday, October 12, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Us

By Christopher Munroe

You’re either with us, or against us.

Or, now that I think about it, you’ve never heard of us at all and have no opinion regarding us one way or the other.

In fact, given that we aren’t particularly notable, either for good or ill, chances are that it actually is the third thing that describes you.

So, anyway, you’re either with us, against us, or we’re nothing to you, have always been nothing to you, will always be nothing to you and you’re completely indifferent to us.

Probably the latter.

Now get off the fence and pick a side!

Friday, October 9, 2015


During the war, I was part of an elite group, tasked with sabotaging the supply lines of the enemy.

We did good work, I think, we aided the effort in a way that was invaluable, but we never quite got along personally. We were dicks to one another, basically.

I was a dick to everyone else, basically.

We don’t keep in contact much, the lads from my platoon and I.

I’m not sure they’d want to hear from me, though I’m sure if I did call they’d at least be civil.

But even so, I burned a lot of bridges…

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Weekly Prompt Story: Good Buddy

On the Nature of Friendship
By Christopher Munroe

You can’t spell “Good Buddy” without “Good Bud,” and that’s why I believe that a true friend will help you find marijuana.

That follows, yeah?

I don’t often smoke the stuff myself, it puts me to sleep, but if somebody comments on wanting some I like the challenge, it makes for a fun game for me.

I’m a grown-assed adult, with zero drug connections, but I’m reasonably intelligent and extremely tenacious, and if I want to buy drugs, then BY ZOD I am going to find someone to sell them!

Yeah, I’m also surprised I don’t get arrested more often…