1) Procure kittens.
2) Perfect cutsie-pie handwriting.
3) Genetically and, where results would go unnoticed, cybernetically enhance kittens. Razor claws, improved strength, speed and agility, fangs that rip through steel. That sort of thing.
4) Using shock collars and cuddles, teach kittens to equate affection with physical pain, such that any kindness drives them into murderous frenzy.
5) Craft adorable sign reading: “Free Kittens”
6) Stand by highway with cardboard box.
The angle? No angle, I have absolutely nothing to gain by this plan. Sometimes you have to do what you do for the simple joy you derive from it…
Showing posts with label Kitten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kitten. Show all posts
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
I Am an Evil Mastermind
I’ve taken a kitten and dressed it like Rick Astley.
Having done so, I videotaped it wandering around a miniature recreation of the video for the single Never Gonna Give You Up.
I edited the video to include captions (which I called Cat-tions) of fun facts about kittens, Rick Astley, and the making of the video itself.
The cat-tions were, it goes without saying, hilariously misspelled, and the grammar was atrocious.
I want four million, in small, non-sequential bills, delivered to my by tomorrow morning.
If my demands are not met, I will release this video onto the internet.
Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hahahahahahahaha!!!
Having done so, I videotaped it wandering around a miniature recreation of the video for the single Never Gonna Give You Up.
I edited the video to include captions (which I called Cat-tions) of fun facts about kittens, Rick Astley, and the making of the video itself.
The cat-tions were, it goes without saying, hilariously misspelled, and the grammar was atrocious.
I want four million, in small, non-sequential bills, delivered to my by tomorrow morning.
If my demands are not met, I will release this video onto the internet.
Muaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-hahahahahahahaha!!!
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