...on business.

I knew that people online would get on board, that was never really in doubt.

It was whether that online interest would translate into actual sales, always a shaky proposition, that worried me. Let us not forget “Snakes on a Plane” after all.

But my worry, it turned out, was misplaced.

And now, a four million dollar house, new Ferrari and month in Vegas later, the only worry I have is what I’m going to do with the seemingly endless flood of cash that’s still coming in…

I feel some small measure of guilt, perhaps, at the increase in heart disease and obesity that I’m no doubt partially responsible for, but I can’t feel too bad about that. People do make their own decisions, after all.

I merely provided new options, I never forced anyone to do anything.

If people can’t control their baser appetites, that’s no responsibility of mine.

At the end of the day, I’m merely a businessman.

And, it turns out, Pumpkin-Spiced Bacon was the best business decision I ever made…

The Dangers of Pumpkin Spice

I left my phone on the table at my local Starbucks.

And by the time I got back, having realized it missing, ten minutes later, it was gone.

I checked that night, and again the next day, but nobody’d turned it in, so I had it bricked and bought a new one.

They rolled the price over onto my next bill rather than making me pay in the store, which was nice of them, I suppose.

I mean, they didn’t have to do that, it’s not as though I could get by in 2014 without a phone.

But still, this means my next phone bill will be in excess of four hundred dollars, which I can’t really afford. Especially with Christmas season coming.

Four hundred dollars for a seconds-long lapse in judgment at a Starbucks.

Overall, it was the most expensive pumpkin spiced latte I’ve ever had.

Still kind of worth it, though.

I do loves me some pumpkin spice…