Prelude

I’m fine to drive home, I’m sure of it.

Mostly sure of it.

I mean, I’ve had a few, but that last round of jagerbombs hasn’t kicked in yet, and anyway I only live a few blocks from here, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be fine.

I’m already driving, so it’s too late to change my decision anyway.

It’s late, dark, and yeah, I’m kind of nodding, but I’m fine. I’ve driven this route a thousand times.

I just gotta keep my hands on the wheel, my eyes on the road, and hope nobody jumps out in front of SHIT!!!

-

Of course I’m not driving home. Who do you think I am?

I’m in no shape to, I’ve been drinking for four hours and I can barely focus my eyes.

I’m a responsible adult, and I frankly take offence at the implication that I’d even consider driving in my current state.

And anyway, I only live a few blocks from here.

Hopefully the night air will sober me up a little. I’m less steady on my feet than I thought I’d be.

Still, I can make it home.

Wait, a car’s coming.

Screw it, he’ll stop to let me pass…

Same as it Ever Was

I found myself behind the wheel of a large automobile. And I asked myself, how did I get here?

Drinks? A few, and then driving home, to a beautiful house, and a beautiful wife. But my eyes couldn’t focus.

Lost, I asked myself: Where does that highway lead to?

Fumbling the wheel, I asked myself: How do I work this?

Something leapt. The car lurched, then stopped. I never saw it. I felt ill.

I asked myself: Am I right? Am I wrong?

Leaning out the window, seeing the bike, I said to myself: My god, what have I done?

The Man Who Murders Me...

…will be tried for vehicular manslaughter, and acquitted.

However, stress from the trial will end his marriage and career. Family and friends will never look at him the same. Murdering me will destroy his life, utterly.

But he knows none of this right now. Right now he’s driving home from a bachelor party. He’s slightly drunk, but confident he’s cool to drive.

Meanwhile, I’m walking home. I know I’ve had too much to drink, and I’m not driving. Behind the wheel, in the state I’m in, I could kill somebody!

I stumble across the street, forgetting to look both ways…