Thursday, January 28, 2016

My Restaurant

Although I’ve worked as a waiter, off and on, for years, I never wanted to open a restaurant myself…

Until, that is, a friend suggested I open a gaming themed breakfast nook.

Space enough for whatever tabletop game you might want to partake in over a pleasant morning meal, along with delicious breakfast delicacies prepared for you while you played, it seemed the natural next step in the evolution of the gaming café.

Though I admit, I didn’t fully sign on ‘til it was pointed out to me that opening a gaming-themed breakfast restaurant would allow me to name three of the menu items “Waffle Good,” “Waffle Evil,” and “Waffle Neutral.”

Waffle Evil, we decided after careful consideration, would be bacon and ghost pepper sauce waffles, the sort of spicy treat that’s guaranteed to punch you right in the taste buds, an assault upon your senses that left you reeling. People might wonder if they could order it sans ghost pepper sauce. And the answer would be: No.

Waffle Good, on the other hand, would be dessert waffles, piled high with fresh fruit, syrup, cream both iced and whipped, and then sprinkled in chocolate shavings, a decadent feast that even the most humourless of taste buds would be forced to stop and take appreciative note of…

Waffle Neutral would just be waffles, with butter. Waffles and butter. That’s it.

This notion tickled us so much that we knew we had to open the restaurant, and to our surprise, the young woman we talked to at the bank agreed, and our loan was approved immediately! It took a lot of hard work getting the place up and running, but six months later we had our own little breakfast and gaming parlour, open for business!

And then, six months after that, closed for business, our operating capital gone and what few customers we’d found calling for our blood, the games they’d invested so much money and emotional energy into ruined, forever.

Waffles, it turns out, should not be combined with tabletop gaming. The syrup gets EVERYWHERE…

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