Friday, March 2, 2012


I’ve built my own coffin.

I’ve always had a soft spot for the idea of carpentry. No aptitude for it, but the notion that I can use my hands to create a physical object holds a huge appeal for me. And a coffin is basically just a box you can lay down in, so how hard could it be?

Surprisingly hard, as it turns out.

The dimensions are right, I’ll fit inside, but it looks awful. Nails sticking out at odd angles, lid not quite fitting across the body of the shoddy pine box I’ve managed to cobble together. It looks like a prop from a western, or some kind of gag. From a pile of timber to an embarrassing mess in a few short weeks.

The worst part of it is, this truly was the best I could do.

Like I said, I’ve no aptitude for carpentry, just interest.

Still, it’s functional, if crude, and I will fit inside, and it’s the result of a lot of effort, so pretty or not it’s my coffin, I’m proud of it, and I’m going to bring the wife and kids out to the garage to have a look at it now that it’s finished.

They’ll mock me for it’s shoddy construction, I have no doubt. That’s kind of always been a part of my plan.

I need to tell them about the test results, and in times like this opening with a laugh couldn’t hurt…


  1. Excellent twist. Very nice, especially for such a short piece.

  2. Loved this Chris - poor man and so thoughtful too.