In my defence...

…the breakup had been a bad one, and tempers were still hot as I packed my things. She’d hurt me more than I thought possible, and moreover I felt more betrayed than I’d ever been. So I allowed my own baser nature to overcome my better angels. I was too angry, and I acted rashly. I know that’s not an excuse, but I hope that, in some small way, it provides an explanation.

Specifically, I left a bucket of shrimp in the basement, by the radiator, without telling her, before I moved out.

Obviously I wasn’t there weeks later when she found it, but I can only imagine her disgust as she came unexpectedly upon it. The stench alone must have been overpowering, and her revulsion as she was forced to carry that bucket of rancid shellfish upstairs and out to the corner for disposal is something that, in spite of my shame at having been so petty to someone I’d once loved, I still have to admit I’d have like to have seen.

So yes, I did once Revenge Prawn an ex-girlfriend. I’m not proud of the fact that I did it, but I did it, and there it is.

What? Well what DID you ask, then? What’s that? What, NO! No, I’ve never done THAT to an Ex. That’s revolting, absolutely fucking inexcusable. Who would do that?

Weekly Prompt Story: I Remember When...

http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/?p=28025

Remember Remember

By Christopher Munroe

Remember when that one Guy tried to blow up parliament with a cartload of gunpowder?

Oh come on, you remember. Guy pulls up, gunpowder in tow, he’s intercepted, nothing explodes but he’s ALL OVER the news, people screaming for his execution? It was a whole huge thing, #GunpowderTreason was trending on Twitter and everything, EVERYONE was sharing stories .

No?

Are you sure?

Huh.

Oh, nothing, I was just wondering how that whole thing turned out. After the initial outrage I kind of lost interest.

I guess these sorts of stories get covered differently in the age of social media…

The Relationship

Have you ever gotten out of a bad relationship?

The sort of dynamic where you know the other person is wrong for you, where they’re small and petty and pointlessly mean, constantly, where they’re not a good person and you can no longer bring yourself to even pretend that they are, but you’ve stayed with them anyway, out of fear that you can’t do any better, fear that, after so many years, this is all you deserve?

Have you ever been pushed to the point where even your own worst, most morally cowardly self can no longer make excuses for a person, and you see them, perhaps because of something they’ve said, perhaps something they’ve done, for who they truly are, and you can take no more of their abuse, their lies, of the petty, snarky contempt they show you with their every utterance, and you, finally, push them away once and for all?

Have you ever found yourself, away from a person for the first time in longer than you care to remember, so emotionally exhausted from the dynamic you’ve escaped, so utterly drained, that you can’t bring yourself to think about your future, to find something more healthy for yourself, a true partnership in which you might grow and thrive, because after everything you’ve been put through you no longer trust your own judgment in the matter, and anyway you just need something simple, something comfortable, something unchallenging.

…have you ever gotten out of something profoundly unhealthy, and you just want to be with someone sweet, and a little bit shallow, who you know will never ask much from you, while you figure your shit out?

That, in a nutshell, was what Election 2015 was like for Canada, so far as I can tell...

Weekly Prompt Story: Stick

http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/?p=28012

A Public Service Announcement

By Christopher Munroe

Teddy Roosevelt once famously said, “Speak softly, and carry a big stick.”

Good advice for its day, perhaps, but I think we all agree it needs to be updated.

“Walk on two big sticks.”

In this modern age, height’s never been a more important factor in determining success. With this in mind, can you deny yourself the opportunity to be your best, tallest self?

Jump on a pair of stilts today, as Roosevelt would have, had he the technology to do so.

This message has been brought to you by the Canadian Stiltwalkers Federation. For more information, consult our website…

A Weekend Negotiation

...all right, fragile human flesh-body, I know I was out until six in the morning gaming last night, and that's on me, that's nobody's fault but mine, but you have to get me through a day of work now, and THEN a nightclub.

I know it's not fair of me to ask you, you're aging, hell we both are, and neither one of us can do what we did at 19 anymore, but that's just how it has to be. Work, then a nightclub, and Then you can sleep. Just push through as best you can, don't break down on me, and if you come through for me on this I swear that on Sunday I'll let you sleep as late as you want!

We're a team after all, we're in this together, now pull it together, do the best you can, and get me through this. I believe in you, I believe you can do this, and you WILL do this for me!

One more day. Another day, another destiny. Let's do this.

And, once again, I'm deeply, deeply sorry that I'm putting you through this schedule.

We cool?

Weekly Prompt Story: Us

http://oneadayuntilthedayidie.com/?p=27974

Ultimatum

By Christopher Munroe

You’re either with us, or against us.

Or, now that I think about it, you’ve never heard of us at all and have no opinion regarding us one way or the other.

In fact, given that we aren’t particularly notable, either for good or ill, chances are that it actually is the third thing that describes you.

So, anyway, you’re either with us, against us, or we’re nothing to you, have always been nothing to you, will always be nothing to you and you’re completely indifferent to us.

Probably the latter.

Now get off the fence and pick a side!

Sabotage

During the war, I was part of an elite group, tasked with sabotaging the supply lines of the enemy.

We did good work, I think, we aided the effort in a way that was invaluable, but we never quite got along personally. We were dicks to one another, basically.

I was a dick to everyone else, basically.

We don’t keep in contact much, the lads from my platoon and I.

I’m not sure they’d want to hear from me, though I’m sure if I did call they’d at least be civil.

But even so, I burned a lot of bridges…