Rocket Boots

For my birthday this year, I got Rocket Boots.

I’d been saying I wanted them since 2001. It is, in my opinion, officially the future, and Rocket Boots signify that to me. Fortunately, enough of my friends are engineers and, apparently, they’ve spent their free time designing and testing a prototype.

They won’t be available for public purchase for years, it takes forever for so dangerous a product to get to market. But they gave me the prototype pair.

It was an incredibly thoughtful gift.

Anyway, enjoy sitting in traffic, sucker, I’ll meet you at work.

I have to soar.