Thursday, January 26, 2012

Yet Another Story About Juggalos

Deep within his underground fortress on Juggalo Island, Violent J sits atop a throne of skulls, contemplating his future…

He’s no longer as young as once he was, and he was never all that cool. His forces are depleted, both by time and ill-conceived wars and rivalries, and he no longer stands athwart the world like the colossus he once dreamed of becoming.

Still, he manages to maintain some trace of that which once gave him his power.

Shaggy 2 Dope, after all, remains by his side, ever loyal to their shared cause.

His armies, though scattered to the four winds and seemingly lost forever, remain in their hearts true to him, merely awaiting his call to reapply their war paint and return to action.

And yes, they have enough Faygo. There will always be enough Faygo.

So he rises , his decision made, his resolve steeled, and prepares to announce his plans to those who serve him, and with whom he serves.

He’ll drop a new album in May.

The Dark Carnival will rise again.

And he’ll just have to pray that he can work his Miracles one more time…


  1. I'm not a fan of hip-hop. This made more sense to me after I looked up juggalo.

  2. Yeah, I'm not a massive ICP fan myself, but juggalo culture fascinates me. Which I suppose is why I keep going back to this well for material...

  3. Haha, I must admit I wasn't too au fait the term but yeah, the story made me smile and think about Dr Steel's Toy Soldiers.