Thursday, January 19, 2012


There are fewer things more delicious in this life than the taste of fear.

Especially the fear of an innocent.

At least, that’s the premise of my new Food Network series “Taste the Fear”.

We bring in the freshest of ingredients, as well as people who have no idea they’re on television, and while my sous chefs do the prep-work for each week’s delicious gourmet dishes, I chase our “Special Guests” through an elaborately constructed death maze, threatening their lives with a variety of weapons.

It’s not exactly legal in any of the countries in which the show airs, but we film it on a cruise ship on international waters, and there’s no evidence that our Guests are kidnapped from any specific nation.

Foot Network lawyers assure me this muddies the legal waters enough that I’ll never be prosecuted. But even if this weren’t the case, I’d do it. It makes, after all, for incredible TV.

And moreover, it’s true.

There are fewer things more delicious in this life than someone else’s fear.

And at the end of each episode, when we eat that week’s Guests, their fear makes them taste sublime….


  1. Of course, your guests can't be clowns though. Everyone knows that clowns taste funny.

  2. Great idea, I think all reality TV shows should be run like this.