I Finally Get Around to Endorsing an Energy Drink
By Christopher Munroe
I am thirsty.
Life is empty.
Why? Why isn’t there an energy drink for me?
Bev-rage, an energy drink by Goths, for Goths, is finally available, assuming you can face the conformists at your local store.
Available in three flavors, Black as Night Black Current, Black as the Raven’s Wing Black Cherry and Black as my Soul Salt-Cola, Bev-rage provides the energy you need for moping, writing poetry, or just sitting alone listening to old Cure records through oversized headphones.
All the activities a Goth might need energy for…
Bev-rage, buy it.
Quench your existential thirst.