By Chris Munroe
Team meeting, everybody.
Here’s what’s happening. Sales are down, industries change, and we’ve got to change or we’ll be left behind.
So, I’m trimming the department budget by 27%.
To prevent layoffs, wages and benefits will be cut by 27%, and your retirement packages will change to reflect this.
Thanks in advance for your co-operation.
No, my bonuses won’t be cut. They’ll grow, due to my skillful crisis management.
But that’s not important. What matters is, nobody’s fired, and we’re sharing the sacrifice.
This is good news, we’ve really accomplished something today!
We’re the few, the proud.