Friday, June 26, 2015

Kanye West

Kanye West once famously claimed to be a god, but has anybody ever actually worshipped him? Like, full on, Sunday services, preaching the gospel of Versace, Jesus Walks-style worship?

If not, Could we?

I mean, I don’t understand the precise mechanism that was used, but I do know that in Australia an online campaign and some census-based shenanigans led to “Jedi” becoming a recognized, relatively popular faith down under. I can’t imagine it’d be that much more difficult here. It’d take more people, to be sure, but there are a lot more people from whom to find interested potential converts, and at the end of the day who WOULDN’T want to worship Kanye West?

He already has confirmed miracles on the record, after all. For example, the continued existence of his career after half the things he’s said on television. Or Diamonds From Sierra Leone, that tune was killer...

I am not being arch there, Diamonds From Sierra Leone was a hot track. Get the version with the Jay-Z verse, you’ll see what I mean. For his faults as a human, Kanye knows his way around a tune.

With this, plus the sizable name recognition the man commands, in mind, it seems a cinch that five to ten percent of a given country, atheists and agnostics mainly but still, could be persuaded by a sufficiently amusing online campaign to participate in some similar manner of census-based shenanigans, should the law in Canada, or for that matter the States, prove to be similar to that of Australia and census-based shenanigans be all that was required.

I’m not sure we could get people to “Do” anything for this, but I bet we could convince them to check the “Other” box for religion and write in “Kanye-ism” if doing so would create a new religion to add to the pantheon of the West.

Pardon the pun.

And, if we can do this, shouldn’t we? Some would say no, indeed some would say that being able to do something is among the worst reasons to actually do that thing, but to those I say: Whom would it hurt, to check a box and write in a word? Nobody I can see, and it would provide an amusing little trifle with which to pass the time…

And Kanye would appreciate, I think, finally receiving the worship he appears to believe he deserves…

It would be fun.

And, when entering into the Church of Yeezy West, the Latter-day Saint, we would always remember: Bring the man his damn croissant.

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