By Chris Munroe
Come in, everybody, help yourself to a seat.
As you certainly all know by now, Johnson’s been let go as of this afternoon and the company is in the midst of an exciting new lawsuit, and so I’ve been asked to reiterate our sexual harassment policy.
We do not, never have and will never tolerate inappropriate or uninvited physical contact among our staff.
Ever. No exceptions.
In that light, effective immediately our “hugs, not drugs” policy will be rescinded. Hugging will be met with immediate disciplinary action.
And drugs, of course, are now perfectly acceptable.
So: Anybody got a hookup?