…the breakup had been a bad one, and tempers were still hot as I packed my things. She’d hurt me more than I thought possible, and moreover I felt more betrayed than I’d ever been. So I allowed my own baser nature to overcome my better angels. I was too angry, and I acted rashly. I know that’s not an excuse, but I hope that, in some small way, it provides an explanation.
Specifically, I left a bucket of shrimp in the basement, by the radiator, without telling her, before I moved out.
Obviously I wasn’t there weeks later when she found it, but I can only imagine her disgust as she came unexpectedly upon it. The stench alone must have been overpowering, and her revulsion as she was forced to carry that bucket of rancid shellfish upstairs and out to the corner for disposal is something that, in spite of my shame at having been so petty to someone I’d once loved, I still have to admit I’d have like to have seen.
So yes, I did once Revenge Prawn an ex-girlfriend. I’m not proud of the fact that I did it, but I did it, and there it is.
What? Well what DID you ask, then? What’s that? What, NO! No, I’ve never done THAT to an Ex. That’s revolting, absolutely fucking inexcusable. Who would do that?